Carl Icahn @I_Make_Money_You_Have_A_Problem_With_That? Have taken large position in APPLE. See BIG GAINS soon.
Bill
Ackman @Never_Shorting_Again. You don’t use ALL CAPS, Carl. This is Twitter, not Facebook. And we have taken a bigger position in Air Products
than you have in Apple.
Ackman @Never_Shorting_Again. You don’t use ALL CAPS, Carl. This is Twitter, not Facebook. And we have taken a bigger position in Air Products
than you have in Apple.
Icahn: My Apple is
bigger than your Air Products.
Ackman: Show me.
Icahn:
I don’t have to show YOU, punk.
Ackman: What’s your thesis on
Apple, Carl?
Apple, Carl?
Icahn: Talked
to Tim Cook. Very nice chat. Says they are coming out with a “smart” phone
in September.
to Tim Cook. Very nice chat. Says they are coming out with a “smart” phone
in September.
Ackman: They already make a
smartphone. Like, their fifth iteration.
smartphone. Like, their fifth iteration.
Icahn: Oh, Mr. Big Words. Tim Cook says it will read fingerprints. That would save police time doing stop
& frisk. IT WILL BE BIG.
& frisk. IT WILL BE BIG.
Ackman: Fingerprints? It’s
biometric, Carl, not for fingerprinting.
biometric, Carl, not for fingerprinting.
Icahn: It’s
biotech, too! A “smart” phone AND
biotech drug. APPLE WILL BE BIG.
biotech, too! A “smart” phone AND
biotech drug. APPLE WILL BE BIG.
Ackman: There’s those caps again. Who types for you, old man? Your
great-great-great grandson?
Icahn:
Punk. Your mother was a camp-follower.
Ackman:
Don’t know what that means.
Translate.
Icahn: Look it up in the dictionary.
Ackman:
Dictionary! Okay Carl, getting my Webster’s down from the shelf right now…
Icahn: You are a punk. A snotty, wise-guy punk.
Ackman:
Is that the only adjective you
know? I’ll give you my thesaurus, too. You can put it on your bookshelf next to the
Encyclopedia Britannica collection.
great-great-great grandson?
Icahn:
Punk. Your mother was a camp-follower.
Ackman:
Don’t know what that means.
Translate.
Icahn: Look it up in the dictionary.
Ackman:
Dictionary! Okay Carl, getting my Webster’s down from the shelf right now…
Icahn: You are a punk. A snotty, wise-guy punk.
Ackman:
Is that the only adjective you
know? I’ll give you my thesaurus, too. You can put it on your bookshelf next to the
Encyclopedia Britannica collection.
Icahn: A wise-guy punk.
Ackman: Anyway, “punk” is
good. The Ramones were punk, Carl. But you
were probably more a Vic Damone guy, right?
Icahn: A spoon-fed, daddy’s boy punk.
good. The Ramones were punk, Carl. But you
were probably more a Vic Damone guy, right?
Icahn: A spoon-fed, daddy’s boy punk.
Ackman: ‘Danke Schoen,’ was that your song, Carl?
Icahn:
Wayne Newton sang that, not
Vic Damone.
Ackman:
Sorry, Carl. I was trading stock options between classes in
junior high while you were out there bankrupting airlines.
Wayne Newton sang that, not
Vic Damone.
Ackman:
Sorry, Carl. I was trading stock options between classes in
junior high while you were out there bankrupting airlines.
Icahn: I didn’t bankrupt any airline!
Ackman: Ever hear of TWA?
Icahn: I rescued TWA!
Ackman: Like the Godfather
rescued Moe Green.
rescued Moe Green.
Icahn: [Very bad language] Punk! So today you’re bankrupting department stores. Give me a break.
Ackman: Ever been in a
Penney’s? They needed all the help they
could get. We tried.
Ackman: Ever been in a
Penney’s? They needed all the help they
could get. We tried.
Icahn: I shop at TJ Maxx. I never pay retail, Bill.
You know that.
Ackman: You paid retail for DELL. How’s that working
out for ya?
Icahn: Better than Penney’s for you. Think I’ll
short Penney. Right now.
Ackman: Go ahead. I’ll loan you my stock.
Icahn: Serve you right, you punk. Better yet, gonna
buy more Herbalife right now.
George Soros @George_Swings: Good idea Carl, I’m going to buy more
HLF too.
You know that.
Ackman: You paid retail for DELL. How’s that working
out for ya?
Icahn: Better than Penney’s for you. Think I’ll
short Penney. Right now.
Ackman: Go ahead. I’ll loan you my stock.
Icahn: Serve you right, you punk. Better yet, gonna
buy more Herbalife right now.
George Soros @George_Swings: Good idea Carl, I’m going to buy more
HLF too.
Ackman:
Hi George, didn’t know you were
on this thread
Soros: No, I’m not on the treadmill.
Ackman: I said, “thread.” That’s what this is called.
Icahn: He’s a little deaf, Ackman: Give him some respect.
Soros: I just had sex with a very pretty young supermodel
from Belarus. I met
her in Davos shopping with my 5th ex-wife. Thought I would say that.
from Belarus. I met
her in Davos shopping with my 5th ex-wife. Thought I would say that.
Ackman: Save it for Facebook,
George. This is Twitter.
George. This is Twitter.
Soros: My assistant is putting the video up on
YouTube. Then she will leak it to the New
York Post.
YouTube. Then she will leak it to the New
York Post.
Icahn: You might not want to do that, George.
Ackman: Are we done here,
gentlemen?
gentlemen?
Icahn: Not with you, punk. I’m buying more Herbalife right now.
Ackman: Go ahead. I’ll sell you mine.
Icahn:
??? Thought U were short HLF.
Soros: #$%@#$%@ I
thought so too. Carl, you told me Ackman
was short $1B HLF.
Icahn: That’s what he told everybody at that stupid
conference, George. So I went long.
Soros: My face is not as wrinkly as it
appears in the New York Post.
Icahn:
??? Thought U were short HLF.
Soros: #$%@#$%@ I
thought so too. Carl, you told me Ackman
was short $1B HLF.
Icahn: That’s what he told everybody at that stupid
conference, George. So I went long.
Soros: My face is not as wrinkly as it
appears in the New York Post.
Icahn: George, what are you talking about?
Soros: I am watching the video in my private
nightclub. It’s midnight in
Switzerland. Or St. Barts. Wherever we are.
Ackman:
Sorry to tell you guys, but we
actually covered the HLF last week. Went long.
Icahn: U r such a kidder. Am buying 1mm right now,
market not held.
Ackman:
I am not kidding. We’re
long. 1 million shares of HLF, sold to you.
Soros:
This HLF is going down now,
Carl. What did you do?
Icahn: I just bought 1mm and it hasn’t had an uptick yet.
Soros:
I can’t concentrate on the
video. What is happening, Carl?
Icahn: [Bad word] This
[very bad word] punk [bad word] us.
Soros:
I fired my pilot for less,
Carl.
Icahn:
U can’t fire me, George, I
don’t work for U.
Soros:
U will if Herbalife keeps going
down. Can’t U twit something?
Ackman: It’s ‘tweet,’ George. You want Carl to ‘tweet’ something.
nightclub. It’s midnight in
Switzerland. Or St. Barts. Wherever we are.
Ackman:
Sorry to tell you guys, but we
actually covered the HLF last week. Went long.
Icahn: U r such a kidder. Am buying 1mm right now,
market not held.
Ackman:
I am not kidding. We’re
long. 1 million shares of HLF, sold to you.
Soros:
This HLF is going down now,
Carl. What did you do?
Icahn: I just bought 1mm and it hasn’t had an uptick yet.
Soros:
I can’t concentrate on the
video. What is happening, Carl?
Icahn: [Bad word] This
[very bad word] punk [bad word] us.
Soros:
I fired my pilot for less,
Carl.
Icahn:
U can’t fire me, George, I
don’t work for U.
Soros:
U will if Herbalife keeps going
down. Can’t U twit something?
Ackman: It’s ‘tweet,’ George. You want Carl to ‘tweet’ something.
Icahn: I’ll tweet U right in the East River, U punk.
Ackman: You and what army,
Carl?
Carl?
Soros: I want no armies involved. I am devoted to peace. And sex.
Sex and peace.
Sex and peace.
Mary Jo White @Better_Late_Than_Never: Excuse
me, gentleman, good afternoon. We at the
SEC have been monitoring these conversations.
me, gentleman, good afternoon. We at the
SEC have been monitoring these conversations.
Ackman: I was wondering when
you would get around to it.
you would get around to it.
Icahn: Holy [bad word]. Ms. White.
What are you doing on this thread?
What are you doing on this thread?
Soros: Is that a woman who joined us?
White. We are monitoring all
these conversations.
these conversations.
Icahn: How the $$#@ do you do that?
White: Ever hear of an
agency called the NSA?
agency called the NSA?
Soros: She’s from the agency? I wasn’t expecting her so soon. Let her in, fellows.
Ackman: Not that kind of agency,
George.
George.
White: We are getting
worried that unscrupulous billionaires may be using social media to promote
their stocks after they build a position.
worried that unscrupulous billionaires may be using social media to promote
their stocks after they build a position.
Soros: Position?
Icahn: Not that kind of position, George. Keep quiet.
Ackman: You’re in trouble,
Carl.
Carl.
Icahn: What’s the difference between me tweeting I
buy Apple and you telling a conference you’re short Herbalife?
buy Apple and you telling a conference you’re short Herbalife?
Ackman: I laid out the facts
as I saw them. You promoted a stock
price.
as I saw them. You promoted a stock
price.
Icahn: This HLF keeps going down. Why didn’t you tweet that you covered your
Herbalife and went long?
Herbalife and went long?
Ackman: It was my way of
saying ‘Danke Shoen’ Carl.
saying ‘Danke Shoen’ Carl.
Icahn: Punk.
White: Mr. Icahn, we need to
get together. You too, Mr. Soros
get together. You too, Mr. Soros
Soros: A three-way!
I will send the jet to pick you all up…
I will send the jet to pick you all up…
Jeff Matthews
Author “Secrets in Plain Sight: Business and Investing Secrets of Warren
Buffett”
Buffett”
(eBooks on Investing, 2013) $4.99
Kindle Version at Amazon.com
Kindle Version at Amazon.com
© 2013
NotMakingThisUp, LLC
NotMakingThisUp, LLC
The
content contained in this blog represents only the opinions of Mr.
Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an
advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short
positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon
Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This
commentary in no way constitutes investment advice, and should never be relied
on in making an investment decision, ever.
Also, this blog is not a solicitation of business by Mr. Matthews: all
inquiries will be ignored. And if you
think Mr. Matthews is kidding about that, he is not. The content herein is intended solely for the
entertainment of the reader, and the author.
content contained in this blog represents only the opinions of Mr.
Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an
advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short
positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon
Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This
commentary in no way constitutes investment advice, and should never be relied
on in making an investment decision, ever.
Also, this blog is not a solicitation of business by Mr. Matthews: all
inquiries will be ignored. And if you
think Mr. Matthews is kidding about that, he is not. The content herein is intended solely for the
entertainment of the reader, and the author.
6 replies on “Corporate Raiders 2.0: When Carl and Bill and George Met Mary Jo”
tremendous.
Isn't it time for you to go on Twitter?
That's some funny stuff right there.
You had some fun writing this didn't you.
hilarious!
Outrageously brilliant.