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Old Media in the Bizarro World

Time magazine, the flagship publication of Time Warner’s Time Inc., is cutting its rate base, or the circulation it guarantees advertisers, according to Ed McCarrick, world-wide publisher of Time magazine. He says Time will cut the rate base by 750,000 to 3.25 million, a reduction of about 19%.

—The Wall Street Journal

It’s hard to know where to begin on this report of Time magazine’s desperate measures to keep publishing, printing, stacking, trucking, and delivering an increasingly irrelevant weekly news magazine to a world now getting its news immediately and effortlessly the same way these words are brought to you: online.

No printing, stacking, trucking, delivering or recycling required.

Time had kept circulation artificially high by offering cut-rate subscriptions, the account went on, noting, Time’s ad pages are up 2% for the first 10 months of the year, according to Publishers Information Bureau, but were down 12.2% in 2005.

Now, for starters, you would think the fact that Time needed “cut-rate” subscriptions to keep up the magazine’s circulation would have clued in management to the fact that in order to keep readers interested, something needed to change—i.e. the price of the magazine.

And you would be right, except you would be wrong.

Let me explain.

You would be right in thinking that the Time elders would realize the need to change their magazine’s price in order to maintain circulation in the face of compelling alternatives to a high-priced, once-a-week bound copy of old information headed straight for the recycling bin.

But you would be wrong in thinking they are reducing the price.

It seems Time (and perhaps other Old Media companies, but we only have one sample in this case) hires only people from Superman’s Bizarro World (frequently invoked by Jerry Seinfeld)—where things are the opposite of what they should be.

For instead of lowering their costs and passing on the savings to induce readers to continue buying, the Time magazine elders from the Bizarro World decided to raise prices.

I am not making that up:

Time is also raising its newsstand cover price to $4.95 from $3.95, Mr. McCarrick says, and offering advertisers the option to purchase space in the magazine based on a guaranteed audience measure.

So what we have here is a business facing declining demand, that is raising prices to meet the challenge.

Perhaps this is merely a knee-jerk reaction by the elders at Time to changes in their external environment, and they are simply reacting as all Old Media types grew accustomed to reacting whenever costs rose or circulation declined.

In that case, I would suggest they take a lesson from Seinfeld himself, by doing precisely the opposite of these apparently deeply held instincts:

George: Elaine, bald men, with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents, don’t approach strange women.

Jerry: Well here’s your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them.

George: Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should.

Jerry: If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

After all, weekly news magazines with declining circulation, terrible demographics, and a high fixed-cost structure don’t raise prices.

Except, perhaps, in the Bizarro World.

Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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The First YouTube Election, and Not the Last


RUMS FELLED

You gotta love the New York Post.

Thus today’s headline reports Rummy’s demise, encapsulating in two words the entire changing of the guard now under way in Washington after Tuesday’s game-changer elections.

And we owe it all not to the mainstream press, which, as far as I can recall did not break a single investigative piece of news that mattered to the voters on Tuesday.

It was, rather, thanks to YouTube.

For it was on YouTube that Virginia Senator George Allen was shown to the world, his shirtsleeves rolled up, microphone in hand, clearly unnerved by the presence of an observer with a video camera recording his off-the-cuff remarks, attempting to turn the tables by pointing to the cameraman and saying,

“Let’s give a welcome to macaca here, welcome to America…”

And it was on YouTube that Montana Senator Conrad Burns was shown to the world, eyelids flickering, elbows slipping, as he tried to stop himself from dozing off in the middle of an agricultural hearing.

His campaign slogan? “Delivering for Montana.”

Democrats complained last time around when bloggers discredited pieces of John Kerry’s self-styled Vietnam heroics and flat-out dismantled the forged document Dan Rather somberly presented as fact on National Television.

So too Republicans will complain this time around that their precious Senate majority was lost thanks to wise-guy video-tapers looking for “gotcha” moments.

But if the mainstream press isn’t going to keep things honest—and they have proven they can’t, or won’t—then why not give that power to individuals?

Which is exactly what the internet has done.

Pretty cool, I think.


Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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It Took Apollo Group How Long to Figure This Out?

I’m holding in my hands a report on the potential for backdated options grants at Apollo Group, Inc.—the company whose stock collapsed following the November 3 announcement of suspicious option grants:

Apollo Group today announced that its ongoing internal investigation into the issuance of certain stock option grants has discovered various deficiencies.

After discussing earnings restatements and other details, the company said:

Apollo Group also announced that Chief Financial Officer and Treasurer Kenda B. Gonzales resigned on November 1st, citing personal reasons. In addition, Chief Accounting Officer Dan Bachus is currently on administrative leave.

Now, the report I’m holding in my hands (actually, I’m looking at it on my computer screen, but “holding in my hands” is more dramatic) is titled:

Did Apollo Backdate Options?

Its front page summary begins as follows:

While it is impossible to tell definitively from a company’s proxy and other SEC filings whether or not it is guilty of backdating, Apollo Group’s option grant history looks highly questionable, in our opinion, and we believe that scrutiny by the SEC or other gov’t bodies is a real risk to consider.

The report then goes into chapter and verse—actually three devastating tables—about how Apollo Group’s option grant prices occurred almost miraculously at the lowest price of the year in 2000, 2001, 20002 and 2004.

(Something went screwy in 2003—the option grants were 10% above the low.)

Furthermore, no other company in the educational services group included in the tables came close to Apollo. Only one company had even one year when options were granted at the lowest price possible.

The date of this report?

June 8, 2006. Almost half a year ago.

The author?

Gary Bisbee of Lehman Brothers.

His methodology?

Publicly available information from Apollo Group filings.

So it took the educational geniuses at Apollo Group how long to figure this out and hold somebody accountable?

Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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Well Excuse Me


It isn’t easy being skeptical, at least in public.

A few weeks back, I made the mistake of asking what was perceived as a not-friendly question at a company breakout session during one of the many healthcare conferences we attend each year.

Conferences are a great way to hear from a lot of companies in a short period of time, swap ideas with friends and maybe find something new. I spend most of my time in the breakout sessions, because that’s where you can take the measure of management and also hear what other people are worried about or interested in.

It was in that frame of open-mindedness that in late September I stood in the back of a packed breakout session and listened to a management team explain its recent earnings stumble to the disappointed-but-hopeful shareholders in the crowd.

The company in question is a formerly high-flying consolidator in the field of drug discovery tools and cell culture material for biotech and pharmaceutical companies—and until late last year management could do no wrong , snapping up $1.5 billion worth of other players in the field, reporting quarter after quarter of positive earnings surprises, and watching its stock triple in the process.

The good times, and the stock, peaked last year, prior to several inconsistent earnings reports, and was well below its $88 peak when the company reported a bona fide earnings miss this August—a miss that caused one of Wall Street’s Finest to ask, during the ensuing conference call,“What the hell happened?”

I am not making that up.

Here’s the full quote:

The first question, I’m just curious at what dramatically changed from the time that you had your analyst day in June…. Certainly when we were at the analyst day, I think we spent a lot of time drilling down onto your visibility into the back half of the year, and I think I will speak for a lot of the people on the phone that want to know what the hell happened?

Now, the company in question didn’t get to be a Wall Street Fave by fumbling conference calls. And sure enough management spent a good portion of the call talking up a $500 million share buyback the company had announced simultaneously with the earnings miss.

Such share buybacks are an old technique by which companies take the sting out of what we on the Street call a stock that is—in the precise, technical jargon of the professionals that we are—“blowing-up” as a result of the company “puking the quarter.” And a half-billion dollar share buyback is, at least for this company, pretty big.

But what made it stand out, at least for me, was the eagerness with which management shared the details of when and at what price the buy-back would take place.

See if you can spot what appears to be—and I do not believe I overstate the case—an implied guarantee that the stock would go up some time in the future following the buyback:

Now I would like to briefly cover the share repurchase program that we announced today. We see the buyback as a means of returning excess cash to our shareholders and enhancing our return on invested capital. The current stock price is an additional factor in our decision since we’re confident in the future of the Company and therefore know that we will get an attractive return for purchasing the stock at this price [emphasis added].

And to make it seem even more like a no-lose proposition, the CFO more or less said the company would begin buying its stock at once:

We have a significant amount of funds currently available to do this buyback as well as acquisitions. With our cash balance of over 700 million plus the current revolver and the addition of the second half free cash flow, we have plenty of funds at our disposal to execute a significant portion of the buyback immediately as well as move quickly on acquisitions as opportunities arise. [Emphasis added.]

Whether all this was a bald attempt to prop up the stock or not, I have no idea and take no side, but the implication was clear: the company would spend a “significant” portion of $500 million buying stock real quick.

This seemed to me roughly equivalent of an over-excited Grad Student hell bent on making his name at Binion’s Texas Hold ‘Em table flashing his paired aces to the other players and going “all in” before the Flop, the Turn or the River. Anybody at the table with half a brain would immediately fold, leaving Mr. Paired Aces nothing to collect for his great hand but the lousy blinds.

After all, the very act of announcing the company’s intent to buy several hundred million dollars worth of stock ASAP would likely hold up the stock price higher than where it otherwise would trade, thereby unnecessarily raising the cost of the share repurchase and lowering the return to shareholders.

Nevertheless, the company did show its cards. And in case anybody had missed them, the CFO flashed them again, during the Q&A session, repeating the company’s eagerness to begin buying stock:

It was authorized at our most recent Board meeting last week, and we’re in the blackout period. We’ll be in the blackout period until Sunday, and at which point we would be free to start executing buyback. As we’ve said before, we’re running through the mechanics right now, but we would do a substantial portion of the $500 million authorization relatively soon [emphasis added].

Now, I admit to being a little wary of managements that try to keep Wall Street’s Finest on their side with happy talk and spin control.

But, hey, if I’d been long a stock that was no doubt being referred to by disgruntled portfolio managers as—using, once again, the precise technical term—“a pig,” I’d be rooting for the company to buy every share it could get its hands on, price be damned, if only to give me a chance to get out.

(It may surprise people to read this, especially those who put their life and heart and soul into a company for the better part of their natural lives on this planet, but most institutional investors—hedge funds especially—could not care less what a company actually does for a living and how it provides for its employees and their families and their children: most of ’em just want the stock to go up. And if it doesn’t, they get rid of it like an old bag of lettuce turning brown and wet in the back of the frig.)

And so it was that two months after the Paired Aces conference call, I decided to attend the Q&A session of management’s appearance at a healthcare conference, just to listen.

And it was during the course of a discussion about the $500 million share repurchase that management allowed as how the company could buy stock up to a price as high as $80 a share.

I looked at my Blackberry: the stock was trading hundreds of thousands of shares, at a price near $63.

This boggled the mind.

Why on earth would a company authorize a repurchase “up to” eighty bucks a share when it could have all it wanted in the low $60s?

Aside from making the poor shmucks who’d owned the stock at $80 feel like they had some shot at getting their money back, I could see no reason to slap a silly number on something as serious as the allocation of half a billion dollars’ worth of shareholder’s capital.

What, I wondered, were they smoking?

So I asked them that, in a slightly different way:

“How’d you come up with $80?”

Management smiled tightly and more or less shrugged, saying something to the effect of this:

“That’s what we decided.”

So I asked it again:

“But how did you get $80? Were you looking at return on capital? Earnings dilution? What was the analysis?”

Now, anybody with six months in this business could have answered that question. My dog Lucy could have answered it, if she could talk.

After all, most public companies at some time or other buy back stock—some to offset option dilution; some to take advantage of market weakness; some to shrink their capital base; some to prop up the stock; some to re-allocate capital in the absence of better reinvestment opportunities; some for all the above.

And when they buy stock, they usually consider two things in determining what price to pay: they look at the point at which a repurchase becomes dilutive to earnings (based on the implied cash on cash return of a repurchase as compared with keeping the money in T-Bills) or the alternative returns from making an acquisition with the dough.

Something, in other words, that is rational and easily defined.

But you would have thought I had asked these guys for their opinion on the Combined Uniform Theory of Relativity, or whether they were, in fact, the bright boys responsible for the “intelligence” that Saddam had WMD. Or the ones who thought of giving the CBS anchor job to Katie Couric.

They sort of shrugged and cleared their throats while a kind of embarrassed silence descended on the room, keeping anybody else from following up on the topic.

Finally, a fellow sitting near me in the back turned and said in an angry, sharp voice:

“The stock traded at $80 not too long ago, you know.”

Since he was clearly one of the poor schmucks who had owned the stock at $80 and was rooting for the stock to get back there, I didn’t say what I was thinking, which was:

“So let me get this straight: the company should pay $80 just because that’s what some idiot thought it was worth last year?”

Instead I let it go.

You can’t win asking a perceived-unfriendly question in a room full of investors who know they’re stuck in a pig but don’t want to admit it.

Which is why it wasn’t all that surprising when the company “puked” another quarter just last week and the stock “blew up”…at the same time management announced it had spent almost $300 million of that half-a-billion authorization to buy stock at $61.

Now, you might think that with the stock dropping below that price on Friday, the company would be delighted to have the opportunity to spend the rest of the $500 million at a lower price.

After all, if they liked it up to $80 and paid $61, they must love it below $60, right?

Well, not exactly.

“We expect to continue to be buyers of our stock, although the level of the buyback will depend on several factors, including share price, other cash requirements, and expected cash generation.”

In other words, this time they aren’t showing their cards yet.

And they want to see the Flop—and maybe the Turn and the River—before they go “all-in.”

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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Getting “Disappeared” in Redmond


Quick—what company just reported a decline in internet revenues last quarter?

If you guessed “Microsoft,” you would be a winner.

That’s right: of all the businesses at Microsoft, from video game boxes to operating systems, the one business that actually saw its revenues decline was that which serves the future of Western, and Eastern, Civilization. How did they do that?, you might ask.How, indeed, did the world’s largest, most successful, most cash-rich software company manage to get lower revenues this year than last year out of a business whose inherent growth rate is higher than the year-to-year increase in the New York Yankees’ payroll?The answer lies in Hotmail and the fast-aging internet access business whose bleeding Microsoft has been no more able to staunch than AOL.Long-time readers know I’ve groused about Microsoft’s Hotmail product for some time—at least until Google Mail came along. After hesitating like Alex Rodriguez staring at called third strike with two outs and the bases loaded, I finally switched.The good news is that by switching to Google Mail I now avoid the near-daily aggravation that came with being a Hotmail user. The bad news is I eliminated good material for some posts here.

And that’s why I’m happy to report the receipt of an email, forwarded by a friend at a New England-based company still clinging to Hotmail.

The email in question alerts the company’s employees that some tweaks to the Hotmail system by the folks in Redmond is causing emails sent from one Hotmail user to another Hotmail user to suffer the same fate as dissidents under Salvador Allende.

Which is to say, they are disappeared.

That is, as anybody who runs a business might gather, a problem. Readers of this blog will not be surprised to hear that, thus far, it appears the Hotmail folks haven’t come up with a solution, let alone respond to the poor company’s calls for help.

In the meantime, the ‘workaround,’ as IT guys like to say, is that anybody in the company who needs to send an email to a Hotmail account is advised to use a non-Hotmail account to send it.

Otherwise, the email will get disappeared.

Just like the users of Hotmail have been disappearing lately.

Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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Feed the Ducks When They’re Quacking

.“Insider Sales Rise, but Not to Worry.”..Thus today’s Wall Street Journal blandly describes a “sharply” increased rate of stock selling by corporate insiders in the last two months..“What you have to remember is that all selling is not bad,” a fellow who studies these things tells the Journal, which then explains as follows:.While open-market sales compared with purchases by insiders have increased significantly in September and October, that increase is the predictable result of the rise in the stock market….So, if I am grasping the logic correctly, “sharply” increased sales of stock by corporate insiders are apparently bad only if they occur when the stock market is going down..Well, that’s a relief!.I guess you can’t blame the Journal for downplaying an indicator that tends to have a pretty good track record for marking sentiment extremes on both the bull and bear sides of the market: after all, the Dow Jones Industrial Average, as even my dog Lucy now knows, just broke through 12,000..Who wants to rain on that parade?.Besides, insider sales are not by any means a perfect leading indicator of impending trouble—CEOs and CFOs and other Corporate Bigs sell stock all the time, what with taxes to pay and G-IVs to buy and second wives to impress and options-granted-miraculously-at-the-lowest-price-of-the-year to exercise..And even if those sales do indicate signs of worry among the men and women who run American businesses, and are, therefore, thought to possess foresight into future economic trends, there’s no telling when the prevailing sentiment mood will shift back to “fear” from “greed.” I mean, after all—to borrow a line from “Hot Shots!”—what could go wrong?.Still, why wouldn’t insiders sell?.Why not take advantage of all the hoopla over that magical 12,000 figure, which anybody inside a corporation knows is entirely meaningless; yet which is terrifically meaningful for the investment professionals whose business depends on “beating the market” even if that “market” is deemed to consist of 30 random stocks whose aggregate theoretical index value just reached 12,000?.Why, with the bond market, along with cyclical stocks and “Dr. Copper” sniffing no let-up in worldwide growth despite the U.S. homebuilding crash, wouldn’t insiders arbitrage the higher price/earnings ratio of stocks on the one hand and the higher yield on the no-risk 10-Year on the other?.Why with companies like Whirlpool and Kimberly Clark and Caterpillar Tractor missing numbers thanks not to weak demand but to higher input costs—a 25% higher increase in the raw material bill than previously expected, in the case of Whirlpool—wouldn’t a savvy insider let some go?.Why not, in short, feed the ducks when they’re quacking?.As for what could possibly go wrong—what might lurk on the horizon that could trigger an end to, or at least a pause in, the euphoria sweeping the market (a euphoria almost as palpable as the gloom two months ago, before the insider selling picked up “sharply”)— I have a thought..How about this: how about two weeks from now when Wall Street wakes up and finds Charlie Rangel has become chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee and Barney Frank is now in charge of overseeing Wall Street for the financial illiterates—Republicans and Democrats alike—in Congress?.Whoops, I forgot: this is the stock market! What could go wrong?..Jeff MatthewsI Am Not Making This Up.© 2006 Jeff MatthewsThe content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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When Not to Listen to Consultants


Apple Should License the Mac to Dell

That’s the headline in an email which recently hit my inbox, and I am not making it up.

The email came from a consulting firm (Gartner Invest) that provides its insights, at a price, to the outside world.

The purported logic behind this notion—that the world’s foremost consumer-empowering computer maker on the planet (to whit, Apple) should let the world’s foremost shover-of-cheap-boxes-out-the-door (to whit, Dell) slap its now-sorry name on a box filled with the former’s crown jewels—is summarized in the email as follows:

We [Gartner Invest] do not think that AAPL can significantly increase market share with the current retail distribution and product pricing strategy. However, with the right partner, we think AAPL could grow Macintosh market share to 10%, 15% or even 20%. DELL makes sense as… a distributor of technology largely created by INTC. In many ways, DELL exists to sell INTC’s ideas, and today, INTC’s best idea is AAPL’s Macintosh.

For what it’s worth, I happen to think Gartner Invest’s basic idea does—in theory—make a modest theoretical amount of theoretical sense.

The basic idea being that if Apple really wants its slick, user-friendly, digitally-fluent operating system to take its rightful place alongside the non-slick, user-defying, digitally-deficient-but-monopoly-enjoying counterpart provided by Microsoft, Apple can jump-start the market-share gains by shucking the Apple-Only manufacturing model and licensing the operating system to a third-party—in this case Dell—that could churn out low-cost “Apple Inside” boxes to the masses who otherwise can’t afford the extra bucks Apple’s tightly integrated, lower-volume, higher-cost model now requires.

In theory, what Dell brings to the table is a low-cost manufacturing and distribution system that would vastly accelerate what appears to some observers—myself included—to be an unstoppable gain in market share Apple will enjoy at Microsoft’s expense as the iPod generation matures into Mac-buying college students, engineers, artists, businesspersons, entrepreneurs, housewives, househusbands, and just general digitally-oriented human beings.

Of course, this is a “theory,” and the chief problem with “theories” is they are frequently put forth by people whose well-being does not depend on the actual real-world success of those theories.

I’m sure there’s a Warren Buffett maxim covering this topic, but what instead comes to mind is a book title once proposed by Comedian Steven Wright:

“Freud: The story of insane old man with way too much influence.”

Now, the theory in this case comes not from Sigmund Freud but from a special breed of theoreticians—technology consultants—whose specialty is something called “White Papers.”

For those not familiar with “White Papers,” they are grand, future-looking, acronym-crammed, flight-of-fancy strategy pieces that excite people whose job it is to read them but otherwise cause the casual reader’s eyes to roll up into the back of the head moments before he or she swallows his or her tongue and passes out on the floor.

In fact, I have argued before (see Bill’s Hideaway at http://jeffmatthewsisnotmakingthisup.blogspot.com/2005/03/bills-hideaway.html) that the main source of Microsoft’s current problems stem from the fact that Bill Gates spends two weeks each year reading White Papers alone in a cabin by a lake thinking great thoughts about technology instead of hanging around a Starbucks watching how people actually use technology.

Since it is entrepreneurs—Gates included, at least during the early days of the PC—who actually accomplish things such as, oh, say, Google or the iPod or YouTube, as opposed to theoreticians; and since entrepreneurs are therefore by definition always—without exception—too busy actually accomplishing things to be writing “White Papers” about what other people should be doing, the value of “White Papers” has never been entirely clear to me.

Microsoft has, in the course of the last decade, accomplished (in the realm of cool new technology) the following:

1. Acquired (for $400 million) Hotmail, the pioneering free email service now dying a slow death at the hands of competing free email services that actually work well, such as Google Mail, which cost—I’m guessing—maybe a couple million bucks worth of programmers’ time to create.

2. Acquired (for $425 million) Web TV Networks, which according to a press release at the time “delivers the Net to ordinary TVs.” Unfortunately, the world almost immediately went precisely 180 degrees the opposite way—seeking delivery of ordinary TV to the Net. Which is precisely why Google bought YouTube for $1.6 billion this month.

3. Lost the paid-search market to Google and Yahoo! by letting Yahoo! buy paid-search pioneer Overture out from under its nose. Overture’s largest customer at the time was none other than…Microsoft.

4. Missed out on downloadable music—this is not a flourish or exaggeration—almost entirely.

Whether or not each of these four major failures are due strictly to White Papers alone, I think it’s fair to conclude the following:

White Papers = Bad Ideas. Case closed.

Now, consultants as a class are not entirely to blame here.

First of all, the “White Papers” Gates reads are actually prepared by Microsoft people, not outside consultants.

Second, there are cases in which consultants have in fact added tremendous value to a company—and no, I am not making that up.

The example that comes most readily to mind is when Best Buy turned from a typical commission-driven electronics retailer into a Wall Street Fave some years back after bringing in some smart-alecks from McKinsey & Company (or maybe it was Bain), whose first piece of advice was to stop using music compact disks as a loss-leader, which helped boost margins overnight, and otherwise re-engineered the company into the Best Buy that dominates electronics retailing today.

In fact, consultants exist for the good and for the bad, and in this case what we are considering is a recommendation that Apple start licensing Mac hardware to other computer companies—specifically Dell. So let’s consider it.

For starters, this is not a new idea. Wall Street’s Finest have been calling on Apple to “open” the Mac system for years, particularly throughout Microsoft’s ascent to the top of the computer software pyramid thanks to its own hardware-free model.

Furthermore, Apple tried it already, and Steve Jobs—like a nervous parent who instantly regrets dropping off an only child at a child care center run by ex-cons—quickly backed out of the program.

Also, and not for nothing, Apple is the leader in bringing digital computing tools to regular consumers—just in time for the digital revolution now upending analog business models from medical radiology to movie distribution. It doesn’t, in my view, need to do anything different to achieve a much bigger share of the PC market than it had during the era of self-contained, spreadsheet-laden desktops besides keep innovating.

Another thing the consultants may have forgotten: Apple doesn’t manufacture its own gear in the first place. Order an iPod from the Apple online store and it comes straight from the Chinese contract manufacturer via Federal Express, not from a distribution center in Cupertino.

Thus, the advantage of sticking another brand name on the theoretically cheaper box isn’t entirely clear: Dell’s operating margin would become Apple’s cost of goods sold.

Finally, even assuming Apple changed its mind about licensing software and decided to partner with a hardware maker like Dell who could, theoretically, get a lower-cost version of the Mac out into the world, why would Steve Jobs want to let Dell’s own deteriorating product quality and no-longer-award-winning customer service turn off as many potential Mac users as it might add?

After all, even if Toyota could sell more cars by licensing the Lexus brand to Chevy, would it ever?

Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

P.S. For some laugh-out-loud commentary on the same topic, see Eric Savitz’s excellent “Tech Trader” blog in Barron’s Online:

http://blogs.barrons.com/techtraderdaily/2006/10/20/gartner-apple-should-license-hardware-to-dell-stick-to-software/

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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Baby Boomers Remembering When


“Ebay’s profit jumped 10% and revenue soared 31%, but concerns remain about growth in its main U.S. auction marketplace.”

—Wall Street Journal

The single most depressing thing on TV has got to be those Public Television fund raising concerts featuring flabby, ancient, gray-haired singers or vocal groups or bands from the 1950’s or 1960’s or 1970’s playing their one or two or three hit songs to an audience of uniformly Middle-Aged White People sitting politely in their seats while cameras rove the theater for soft-focus close-ups of glassy-eyed individuals, their faces uplifted towards the stage, who are either singing along with the song (which is generally an exact duplication of the original recording) like a five-year-old at a Raffi concert, or mouthing the words silently, as if these were ancient biblical texts about the Sermon on the Mount as opposed to three-minute pop tunes about Big Girls who Don’t Cry or Puff the Magic Dragon.

This sounds harsher than I mean it, but what I see in those shows is not an uplifting mass rejuvenation thanks to the life-lessons of “little Jackie Paper” who “loved that rascal Puff.”

What I see in those shows are people from my demographic who’ve woken up suddenly to find themselves unequivocally old and are wondering where the time went, which is why they’re in a crowd of other 50 year-olds singing along to songs that were popular when they were young and vigorous instead of somewhere else experiencing something a little more current.

In short, they depress the hell out of me.

And not for nothing, but since I’d rather watch Alex Rodriguez stare at a called third strike and end yet another Yankees rally than witness a bunch of Baby Boomers re-experiencing their lost youth in order to replenish the coffers of Public Television, I never stick around long enough to write down the 1-800 Number.

I thought of the hidden message which, to me, lurks behind those televised fund-raisers after reading about eBay’s earnings in today’s Wall Street Journal—how else to account for the use of an active verb like “jump” to describe what was, after all, a measly 10% increase in earnings, than to attribute it to the good memories of what eBay used to be, rather than what it has become?

eBay is, after all, no longer the strapping youth of its glory days, when revenue growth was 100% a year and operating margins were in the mid-30% range. In fact, revenue growth has been cut by two-thirds since then, while operating margins are down one-third.

Furthermore, the “earnings” which “jumped” 10% this quarter were not technically earnings according to Generally Accepted Accounting Principles, in the sense of being revenues less costs.

They were, rather, “adjusted earnings”—earnings adjusted for various items deemed not relevant to the core business and therefore summarily excluded by management—which is a hangover from the Dot-Com Bubble days that many observers thought we had slept off.

In fact, according to my Bloomberg, eBay’s operating income under GAAP actually declined this quarter, from $356 million last year to $339 million this year.

But by using what I call “Earnings Adjusted for Yadda Yadda Yadda,” or “EAFYYY,” eBay was able to report that 10% “jump” lauded by the Journal and by investors bidding up the stock this morning, apparently relieved the news wasn’t worse.

Like the aging Boomers funding Public Television, however, eBay is no longer the revolutionary, anti-establishment entity it used to be, thanks to free and fast-growing alternative sales platforms such as Craig’s List and Google Base, not to mention the rise of paid search by which anybody with something to sell can reach a potential customer for pennies per click, without having to auction if off on eBay.

Still, floating through the mystic chords of memory among Wall Street’s Finest and their clients, there are, no doubt, understandably fond reminiscences of days gone by.

The good news, as I see it, is that the YES Network replays all those Yankees games that Rodriguez cost us practically 24/7.

Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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Visualize the World’s Largest Virtual Parking Lot


Yahoo Feels Breath on Neck
It’s Still the No.1 Portal, But Rivals Are Closing In

—New York Times?

So said last week’s New York Times? in a fascinating look behind the curtain at the formerly hot internet property whose official name is “Yahoo!” but which the Times? has unilaterally changed to “Yahoo,” without the exclamation point.

Perhaps this insouciant act by the editors of the Times? is a sign of Yahoo!’s declining importance. Or perhaps it reflects the massive cost-cuts rippling through the ranks of “Old Media” properties—no more fact-checkers, for example. Or perhaps it is simply because the fact-checkers at the Times? are over the age of fifty and thus do not know the correct spelling of the internet’s “No. 1 Portal.”

Whatever the reason, I’m going to use the actual name of the firm in question, which is “Yahoo!,” not “Yahoo.”

And I’m going to call the newspaper whose article triggered this piece the “New York Times?” instead of the “New York Times.” After all, if the editors of the world’s most self-important newspaper can be indifferent to getting the name of a major corporation right, why should they mind if I don’t bother?

In any event, the Times? article got right to the heart of the matter in the second paragraph, summarizing what appear to be Yahoo!’s major strengths:

Yahoo would seem to have a strong hand. It is the world’s most popular Web site, with more than 400 million monthly users…. It has top Web properties in areas like e-mail and music. And its management team, led by Terry S. Semel, a former Hollywood executive, is well regarded for its skill and financial rigor.

And, on the surface, all those points are more or less correct.

Mr. Semel certainly did a terrific job steering the company out of the Internet Bubble collapse, turning Yahoo! into a profitable and important franchise. And while Yahoo! does have widely used email and music platforms, I don’t know anybody with a “yahoo.com” email address. Nevertheless, 400 million monthly users is indeed a heck of a lot of “users.”

So why is Yahoo! flailing around?

Why, as I write this, is the online Wall Street Journal reporting that the world’s “No. 1 Portal” is having trouble closing a deal to buy Facebook—the only decent social networking site available, now that YouTube is owned by Google and MySpace is safely ensconced within the corporate umbrella of News Corp, whose crafty CEO, Rupert Murdoch, acquired that social networking website a year and a half before Viacom Chief Sumner Redstone learned what a “social networking” website was and began flailing around, King Lear-like, exiling poor Tom Freston from his increasingly irrelevant Old-Media kingdom?

Why, in short, with all the advantages of having been the “first mover” in Internet-land, is Yahoo! so publicly failing to get with the program?

Perhaps it is because what Yahoo! really is is this: the world’s biggest virtual parking lot.

Let me explain.

Right now, on the Yahoo! front page, I can click on buttons for mail, messenger, radio, horoscopes, weather, “local” (whatever that means), autos, finance, games, GeoCities, groups (whatever that means), HotJobs, Maps, Movies, and yadda yadda yadda (figuratively speaking).

Not only that, but there’s a news story headlined “Why did giant camels die off?” as well as an ad for the new Robins Williams movie.

Meanwhile, on the front page of Google, there’s a handful of catagories (such as maps and video) above the simple search box. And that’s it.

Compared to sleek, simple Google, the front page of Yahoo! reminds me of one of those cars—generally an old Volvo—going 40 miles an hour in the middle lane during rush hour that has so many bumper stickers covering every square inch of available space that you can’t actually read any of the individual bumper stickers except the green and blue one that says “Visualize World Peace.”

Which is ironic because what you tend to be visualizing when you see that bumper sticker is not how beautiful it would be if Arabs and Israelis could only find common ground in their struggle for human self-actualization by having a giant reconciliation ceremony in a field of day lillies above the Gaza Strip.

No, what you tend to be visualizing at that moment is this:

How cool would it be if my car had a machine gun in the muffler like James Bond’s Aston-Martin so I could blow away the scumbag in that souped-up red Acura flashing his lights and tailgating even though it’s bumper-to-bumper traffic?

But I digress.


Like that old Volvo and its confusing mass of bumper stickers, the front page of Yahoo! probably turns off as many people as it attracts. Me, I check the weather on Yahoo! and then go to the nice, simple Google page to do search.

And I suspect that I am not alone.

The Times? story gets this, noting:

Yahoo may well be slipping because of the sheer scope of its ambitions. It competes in news with CNN, in sports with ESPN, in e-mail with Microsoft, in instant messaging with AOL, in social networking with MySpace, and of course in searching with Google.

To the Times?’ brew of skeptical inquiry, a Yahoo spokeswoman sniffs, “Of course growth will slow when you already reach one out of two people on the internet.”

Yes, and growth will also slow when those people you’re reaching are, for the most part, using the parking lot for free. N
ot going inside the store.

Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.

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Making Payroll in the Real World


Finally, the Contractor Will Take Your Calls

Housing Slump Frees Up Builders and Lowers Cost Of Materials for Remodeling

—Wall Street Journal

Wall Street is a manic-depressive beast.

One moment the housing stocks are the poster-children of the trees-grow-to-the-sky brand of momentum investing, defying the skeptics, most especially Alan Abelson and his almost-weekly wolf-crying column in the front pages of Barron’s about the perils of…well, everything, it seems, but especially housing stocks, by hitting the new high list every day.

The next day housing stocks are all on the new-low list and Wall Street’s Finest are busily slashing estimates and scratching their heads over what could possibly have gone wrong with trees-growing-to-the-skies euphoria, despite the fact that housing has, over the last 150 years, been a rather cyclical business.

Then, the day after the analysts have finally thrown in the towel and downgraded the stocks, the Fed decides to stop raising interest rates, and suddenly the housing stocks are all “breaking out,” as the chartists say, triggering the following type of commentary which I am not making up:

Home Builders confirm some positive tendencies that have been brewing over the past few months. The chart pattern of the HGX [home building stock index] completed a 4-month bottoming formation yesterday with a break through a key line of resistance around the 217 area. Over the past month, we have seen a consistently positive volume profile as volume spikes accompanied up moves on the price pattern, indicating accumulation of stock. Some positive follow-through beyond yesterday’s high at HGX-220 will confirm this bottoming formation. We believe that this is an intermediate, if not longer-term upside trend change for the group. We will be looking at resistance areas coming up around 226, 233 and then 250.

How that helps anybody decide how to invest their money is beyond me, but it’s the kind of minute-by-minute stuff that makes traders’ fingers get itchy for the kind of manic-depressive action that increasingly dominates the markets.

Thus, a bunch of guys spend their days watching green lines and red lines and blue lines on a computer screen, making buy or sell decisions on the basis of what those green lines and red lines and blue lines are doing at any second of any minute of any hour of any trading day.

And that’s how Wall Street makes its payroll.

Somehow I doubt the individuals who, to paraphrase Jimmy Stewart’s impassioned speech to the cynical Mr. Potter in “It’s A Wonderful Life,” actually do most of the building and painting and landscaping in the housing industry, particularly care about what the green and red and blue lines are doing on some trader’s screen on Greenwich Avenue.

Their concern, in these fallow days for new housing construction, is to meet payroll. And that’s not just because the Wall Street Journal headline quoted above says so.

It’s what I’m hearing at the Greek diner, too.

The setting was a table in the corner with two guys, one a builder and the other a subcontractor who, as far as I could tell, was not getting his end of the work done to the satisfaction of the builder.

The key part of the conversation, as I heard it in bits and pieces above the general noise level, came after the subcontractor had been blustering and whining, in between phone calls on his Nextel push-to-talk that everybody in the place could hear, until the builder pressed him for details.

And this is what the subcontractor said:

“There’s nothing in the account. I mean, every week I’m struggling to make payroll. Seventeen thousand, eighteen thousand a week I’m trying to make.”

The builder, unnervingly, listened without saying a word. The sub went on:

“There’s nothing in the account. My guy’s pullin’ his hair out—the last hair he has he’s pullin’ out.”

Which may be why, as the Wall Street Journal reports, “the contractor will take your call”: whatever those red and green and blue lines are doing on that trader’s screen on Greenwich Avenue, he needs the money.


Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

© 2006 Jeff Matthews

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews’ recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes a solicitation of business or investment advice. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.